Gray Love: Stories About Dating and New Relationships After 60. Edited by Nan Bauer-Maglin and Daniel E. Hood. New Jersey: Rutgers University Press, 2023.
Nan Bauer-Maglin and Daniel Hood have collected stories from forty-five men and women about finding and ending love in their sixties to nineties. The book is divided into two sections: To Be or Not To Be in a Relationship: Tales of Humor, Disappointment, Rewards, and Personal Insight, and The Complications and Pleasures of Elder Relationships.
Most agree that love is not limited by age. And just like love at any age, it takes work.
Some of the essays address the loss of a spouse or partner, either from death or divorce. Gray divorce (divorce after 50) has doubled since 1990 and women initiate 60% of gray divorce. If the average lifespan of a woman in the US is 81 years old, that’s a lot of years “To Be or Not To Be in a Relationship.”
Dating. Meeting people. Just like Katherine, the main character in Finding Home, they talk about the fun and challenges of figuring out how to swipe left or right in online dating services.
Choosing to get married again. Or choosing LAT –Living Apart Together, married with two separate homes. Or choosing a “welding” ceremony instead of a “wedding” ceremony.
Some decided that life alone is satisfying. At 86 years old, Jane Fonda has decided that she’s done with marriage and has embraced the single life. The book also addresses the challenges of elder dating – what will your children say, what will your neighbors say, an aging and well-lived-in body. The stories are poignant and instructive.